Getting The Proper Beard Length

Here's a seldom mentioned topic which you need to get right - beards, how low can you go? Getting the right looking beard means the difference between respectable and unabomber. Thankfully Esquire magazine has hired the etchers from the front page of the Wall Street Journal to bring you this proper beard length diagram.

It helps to think of your face as a map, your beard an invading army. If you don't control the front line, there's really no reason to stay in the fight. Stopped too close to the jawbone (line a), a beard makes you look uptight.

Also, think of your razor as a peacekeeper, not a sword. And shaving cream as liberating cream. Whiskers just want their freedom. We'll stand down once the hairs stand up. Actually, we'd rather have the hairs stay down. It's the fact that they keep standing up that we have to stay. Wow, we could be shaving in this region for like 100 years.

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