Facial Hair Grows On You

From Book of Odds:

"The phrase "growing a beard" never made much sense. It implies an active function carried out by the beard wearer. In actuality, facial hair grows on its own, its landlord merely condoning the process. This is not just a semantic grievance; in today's society, facial hair carries with it--besides the occasional food particle--a certain stigma.

The clean-shaven face implies youthful civility. The polar opposite--a beard that never saw the sharp end of a knife--demonstrates almost a carnal defiance of authority. Then there's everything in between: mustaches, goatees, Van Dykes, soul patches, mutton chops, and the Fu Manchu, among others. Many have graced the face of Brad Pitt."

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